"Made from the slow sperm"

I believe my dad masturbated before he had sex with my mother on the night I was conceived. The good soldiers were put into a sock and the rejects were dumped into the egg. Essentially I have a lot of health issues.

So I thought - fuck it - I would wear my condition with pride and now you can too... Or you can get this for someone you dislike to let them know how you truly feel about them.